Hope For Me
by melantho22
Summary: Brief stories on the relationship between Katniss and Clove. Clove/Katniss.
1. Chapter 1

_A wicked grin splayed across Cloves face and she raised the knife up. _

_"I see you wanted to help him right?"_

_Katniss squirmed underneath her. _

_"Well that's sweet. You know, its too bad you couldn't help your little friend. That little girl, what was her name.." Clove smirked "Rue?"_

_Katniss jerked against her and Clove had to crush her hand with her foot. _

_"Well, we killed her, and now we're going to kill you." She laughed _

_The knife tore into Katniss' flesh like butter. She didn't scream the first few cuts, Clove had to admire that. But soon she grew bored with the silence and the red liquid wasn't enough to satisfy her thirst. So she brought the knife in deeper and this time Katniss whimpered. Deeper again, and this time Katniss screamed. Again and again, quicker and deeper, until the skin was flayed and ripped from her body writhing underneath Clove. _

_"Please!" Katniss yelled._

_Clove just laughed. _

_"My sister is watching. Please for her. Not for me. Don't make her watch this." _

_Clove just grinned. "See that's the best part. By making her watch this, I get to take away all your glory." _

_The knife went down again tearing up the skin on Katniss' chest. Clove whirled around as the screams pierced the air but no one was coming. _

_"Guess lover boy couldn't make it down here to help you. Pity." She smirked and lifted the knife high. _

_"Say goodbye lover girl." _

Clove bolted upright screaming.

"Clove! Clove!"

Clove couldn't breathe. Where the hell was she? It was dark, all dark. She was in the arena, she was by the cornucopia, she had just killed Katniss...

_Katniss_

Oh God. She had just tortured her. She whirled around gripping next to her. Where was Katniss? The capital plane couldn't have come already. Katniss couldn't be dead. She had to help her. Oh God she had to help her. She hadn't killed her. She choked on a sob.

"Katniss? Katniss!" she screamed in the dark.

"Clove!"

Clove thrashed around on the bed. No! Please! Her Katniss wasn't dead. Please!

Suddenly warm arms were around her waist and she screamed even louder.

"Clove! I'm here! Clove, listen to me."

Clove whirled around and hazel eyes met her own green coloured ones.

"Katniss."

Katniss gripped her hand tightly.

"It was just a dream Clove. I swear. You're ok. It's just a dream."

Clove began shaking, tears running down her cheeks.

"No...no...it was just as it happened. You were there...and I was..and I..." she trailed off breaking into hysterical sobs.

"Clove," Katniss said stroking her cheek "Its ok."

Katniss knew the exact nightmare Clove was speaking of. It was the main one Clove suffered from since the games, along with the one that involved Thresh slamming her head against the cornucopia. Katniss woke her every time as soon as she started screaming. She wished she could wake Clove earlier because Katniss knew at that point in the dream she was already dead. But Clove was quiet throughout the rest, so Katniss had no way of knowing when Clove was sleeping and when she was back off fighting in that awful arena.

"It's just a dream," Katniss soothed her "It's not real."

"But it was! It was exactly how it happened. I said everything I told you that day in the arena. It ended the same as it always does. I never stop."

"But you did Clove," Katniss spoke softly "You did stop. That dream is not how it happened."

Clove put her head in her hands and said something so quietly that Katniss wasn't able to hear her.

"Clove?"

Clove didn't remove her face from her hands.

"Clove? Its ok."

Clove lay back down and flipped over on her right side so that she wasn't facing Katniss.

Katniss reached over and intertwined their fingers together. This was the worst part, whenever Clove pushed her away. She knew that it wasn't necessarily that Clove didn't want her there, it was all the hell she had gone through in district 2. One year with Katniss and she still couldn't get Clove to believe that she cared for her without limits. In district 2 Clove had never even been told about the emotion of love, never mind understanding about its unconditional nature. Thus, despite her stubborn nature, Katniss did almost everything first in their relationship. She had saved Clove first, she had taken care of Clove first, hugged Clove, kissed her first, held her hand first. It made Katniss smile whenever she thought about that particular memory.

_"Are you nervous? _

_"What if they hate me?" Clove had her eyes downcast. _

_"Impossible." Katniss smiled. "I don't think Prim has ever hated anyone." _

_"Even someone she watched as a heartless murderer?" Clove mumbled. _

_Katniss looked right in Cloves eyes. "She won't see you like that. She'll see the person who saved her sister" _

_Clove looked at her unwarily. "Well, I suppose you fell for me even after I pinned you down, and threatened to torture you with my knife at your throat." _

_Katniss laughed. _

_"You have a weird sense of humor fire girl." But Katniss saw the smile spreading across Clove's face. _

_Katniss grabbed her hand and wrapped her fingers around Cloves. _

_"Let's go then." she said motioning to the door of the house. _

_Clove nodded and raised her hand to knock on the door of the white house. She froze. _

_"You can let go of my other hand now." _

_"Why?" Katniss teased "You don't want to hold my hand?" _

_"Hold your hand? Why?" _

_"Well..that's..." Katniss struggled for an explanation. Why did people hold hands? she thought to herself_

_Clove's green eyes suddenly sparked with an understanding. _

_"Is this like hugging?" _

_Katniss flashed back to the moment she first hugged Clove. Clove had thrown her to the ground and whipped out her knives quicker than Katniss could respond to protect herself from Katniss' "attack." _

_Katniss smiled, "Yeah a little bit." _

_"Oh." Cloves face fell in frustration. _

_Katniss remembered how embarrassed she was after the whole hugging incident. She dropped her hand from Clove's and Clove watched as it fell away. _

_"Lets just go in." Katniss said. _

_Later that night while talking to Prim, answering all the million questions she had, Clove had placed her palm into Katniss' own. _

_That moment on Clove's hand was always the one to find Katniss' own. _

"It was exactly how I wanted it to happen."

Katniss was jolted back to reality due to Clove's words. Clove flipped over to face Katniss.

"That was how I planned it out in my head. That was everything I was going to do to you. I only stopped because Thresh..." she broke off into cries

"Clove. Listen to me." Katniss reached down and grabbed Cloves hand. She pulled it up until it was resting on her chest. "Do you feel that?"

"What?" Clove said shakily

"My heartbeat."

Clove paused and for a minute they just lay there. Clove's hand on Katniss' chest, feeling every beat it took.

"That's because you didn't do it like that. That's because you saved me."

Clove nodded and kept her hand in that position.

Katniss reached down and pressed her lips to Clove's.

"You saved me Clove"

Clove nodded against her chest.

"You saved me too. In more ways than one." Clove whispered.


	2. Chapter 2

Clove's steps made a creaking sound against the floorboards.

"I like your house."

Katniss smiled. "It's not a lot really, but it's good enough."

"And Prim and your mother, they're amazing." Clove said grinning as she walked around the room.

"Yeah, they really are." Katniss smiled to herself

Clove suddenly froze for a moment. "Am I going to have to meet Gale?"

Katniss laughed, "Are you still jealous?"

Clove glared at her. "Shut up."

"Clove, he's my best friend."

"I'm your best friend."

Katniss grinned and took a couple steps over to her. She kissed her softly on the lips.

"That was sweet."

Clove continued to glare at her, "Well it better be true."

"ehh" Katniss frowned

"Shut up."

"I'm not kidding."

"I'm sorry, who are you spending time with right now?"

Katniss grinned, "You're right. I should be elsewhere." She turned to walk away.

"Katniss."

She continued to walk.

"Katniss."

No response.

Suddenly Katniss felt a pair of arms grip tightly around her. Clove tackled her against the wall and pressed her lips against hers. She moved down to her neck and began brushing her lips against Katniss' neck tickling her. Katniss broke out laughing.

"Clove! Stop!"

"Say I'm your favorite!"

"Clove!" Katniss struggled against her. She broke off from her a little and reached towards the door. Clove pushed her to the ground and pinned her arms down. She buried her head behind Katniss' ear and began to bite it softly. Katniss squirmed.

"Stop! Clove!"

"Am I your favorite now?" she whispered in Katniss' ear.

"Fine! Fine!" Katniss screamed

Clove laughed and leaned down kissing Katniss softly.

Katniss stroked her hair. "But I do want you to meet him."

Clove sighed and sat up, lifting herself off of Katniss.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yes. I know no one can compete with me."

Katniss grinned "True."

Clove leaned against the office table and glanced at it. Her eyes caught a picture frame she hadn't seen before. She ran her fingers over it and glanced at Katniss. Katniss met her eyes and glanced at the photo Clove was looking at.

"Katniss, who is this?"

Katniss looked down "It's fine."

"What's fine?"

"Nothing." She grabbed the photo from Cloves hands and placed it on the shelf in the corner face down.

"Katniss?"

"Don't worry about it Clove."

Katniss didn't really know why she didn't tell Clove right away it was her dad. Maybe she thought it was because of Clove's own history with her father it would seem stupid to complain about hers. Maybe it was because she thought Clove wouldn't understand. But that notion was ridiculous, Clove was the most understanding person in the world, despite what people could think.

_"She's a career Katniss" Peeta had shouted at her, "She's playing mind games with you." _

It was the fact that Katniss had never shared that part of her life with anyone. She had told people about her father of course but if she told Clove she knew that Clove would try to get her to open up about it. And that she was afraid of.

"Katniss? You know you can tell me anything."

"I know."

Clove stepped over to her and grabbed both her hands in hers.

"We've worked through so many things Katniss." she said softly

"It's my dad."

Clove's eyes widened. Katniss had never mentioned her father to Clove before. Clove had never asked because she knew she wasn't good at making people feel better. Whenever Katniss was upset Clove tried her best to come up with the perfect thing to say. She always felt like she fell far from it. Katniss told her she didn't, said that Clove made her feel like the most special person in the world. Clove said the same thing about Katniss. She meant it too. When Clove had told Katniss of her father and his drunken night rages Katniss had pulled her close and held her tightly and whispered soft words within her ear. Clove was determined to do the same for Katniss now.

"What happened to him?" She asked softly

"Umm.."

Clove looked deep into Katniss' eyes. "You don't have to tell me. But I want you to. Because if there's something in this world that's hard for you to face then I want to help you. That's our deal, remember?"

_Clove never used to wake Katniss up because of nightmares. In fact, she was determined not to. She slept with her head in her pillow so that when she woke up thrashing she could roll over and easily muffle the sound of her screams. One time she did it though, Katniss was awake and watching her. _

_"Do you do that every night?" _

_"Do what?" Clove said trying to brush it off. _

_"Pretend." _

_Clove just stared at her. Katniss reached over and brushed a few tears of her cheek. Clove hadn't even realized she was crying. Then Katniss took Clove's hand and pressed it against her cheek in the dark. It was wet. _

_"Katniss?"_

_"Clove, it hurts me to see you in pain. But it hurts a million times worse to know that I'm not doing anything about it. I'm here for you Clove. Let me help you." _

_"It's just a dream. It's weak to be afraid them." _

_"Clove." Katniss said firmly "You are not weak." _

_Clove didn't answer. _

_"You are not weak." _

_No answer. _

_"You are not weak." _

_No answer. _

_"You are not weak." _

_Katniss heard a sob. _

_"You are not weak." _

_Clove rolled over and put her head against Katniss' chest and cried for the rest of the night. All the nightmares since the games, all the hurt, all the fear, despite it all Clove had never cried since they got out of that arena. Now it came. _

_Katniss pressed her lips to Clove's. _

_"Please, please promise me you'll tell me when you hurt." _

_Clove said nothing. _

_"Clove please. I'm here for you." Katniss begged. "I will never think you're weak or pathetic or anything less than the brave and strong girl you are." _

_Clove kissed her gently_

_"Help me, help you Clove." _

_"And you'll tell me when you're hurting too." Clove said "I know you hide things from me. And I know that I might not say the most perfect things about your pain but I will never stop trying to." _

_"I tell you and you tell me." Katniss affirmed_

_"I'll help you and I'll let you help me." Clove nodded._

_"Deal?" Katniss whispered_

_"Deal." _

" A mining accident."

"Katniss, I'm so sorry."

Katniss went on.

"It was just sudden. One day he didn't come back and we thought he was working late. And then we heard others say that they're husbands and brothers hadn't come back. And I knew right then. But I held my mother and Prim and told them the rescue parties might be able to find them. So we waited and waited and I can't think of when we stopped waiting and started accepting."

"Katniss..."

Katniss was crying now.

She rambled on her words rushing together. "And it was so hard because we had no one. He was dead and I hated myself because all I could think about was how hungry I was. And I was so worried I was going to lose my mother and Prim and then I would have no one. But I was so hungry and so scared its weak. Its so weak but I wished I was dead. Everything just hurt so much. It was so selfish. I'm selfish. It's se;fish now to be happy and..."

She broke off and crouched down on her knees, head in hands.

Clove bent down next to her.

"You are not weak. And Katniss you are the least selfish person."

"My father died Clove. And Prim had no one and so did my mother and I wanted to die because I was hungry."

Clove was sick at the thought of it. They always had more than enough to eat in 2. God all the food they just wasted while her Katniss was suffering.

"But you fought for them."

Katniss was silent.

Clove cupped her chin so that Katniss was looking at her.

"You fought for them and they are here now because of you. You protected your mother every day you fought through and didn't give in. You saved Prim's life in the reaping. And you saved me too that day in the arena. And your father would be nothing but proud of you if he was here now. And I gaurantee that where ever he is, he is looking at you and smiling with pride. I'm proud of you, and Prim is, and your mother, how could he not be?"

Katniss looked up at Clove.

"How do you do it? How do you always know exactly what to say?"

Clove smiled softly.

"I don't know. It's just easy with you."

Clove lifted Katniss up and held her tightly to her chest. She stroked her hair and whispered sweet words to her, planting soft kisses on her neck and mouth. Katniss held onto Clove as if she were a life line.

"Don't let me go ever. Please." she whispered

"Never. Just keep holding onto me." Clove said softly

'Don't let go." Katniss repeated.

"I won't if you won't. Deal?" Clove asked gently

"Deal."


	3. Chapter 3

The girl slammed into me. We both crashed into the ground and I let out a groan as my shoulder hit the grass. She was on top of me so I braced her fall. I quickly rolled to the side and crawled away from her as she was thrown off of me. She sprinted a couple steps forward and leaped at me, bringing me full force into the ground once more. She dragged herself on top of me and pulled out a knife. I grunted and tried to grip her hand forcing the knife away from my face. I slapped her face away and she reared back. That pissed her off and she lunged at me with the knife. I rolled to the side and flipped her over. We rolled on the round, one over the other as I desperately tried to avoid her knife. I had my arm around her neck and she seemed to be struggling to flip me off. She took her right hand and punched me. I fell back groaning as she struggled to climb on top of me. Her legs pinned my arms down and I could feel her foot crushing my hand. Breathing heavily I stared into the heartless eyes of the killer on top of me. She grinned.

"Where's lover boy? Oh I see...you were going to help him right?" she cocked her head to the side "Well that's sweet."

I'm sure my eyes displayed fear as she went on.

_Oh God. Please she's going to kill me. _

"You know its too bad you couldn't help your little friend. That little girl, what was her name again?"

Anger replaced fear and I struggled harder.

"Rue."

The name sounded horrid on her lips. And all I could think of was how sweet Rue didn't deserve to have this girl speak of her. I pushed hard against her. She pressed the knife closer to my neck and I whimpered.

"Well we killed her. And now, we're going to kill you."

She pulled out a smaller knife and thats when I knew that not only was this girl going to kill me, she was going to torture me.

_Prim please stop watching._

All at once Clove is torn off me violently.

_Thresh._

"You kill her?"

Clove panics,

"No.."

"I'll hurt you!"

Clove sees the rock in his hand and just loses it.

"No! No! I.." she is screaming now.

I can't watch and I turn away as Thresh brings the rock down on Cloves head.

"Hey 12!" he shouts

I glance over,

"For rue." And then he is gone.

I glance over to where the girls broken body lies. She groans and I can hear a soft sob escape her lips.

I should leave. But I can't.

_For Rue._

But the very idea of Rue makes me want to stay. Makes me somehow, for some insane reason feel pity for this girl. Rue didn't deserve to die. She was a child. And this girl looks about what? 15? 16? She's small, 5'4. And from district 2 I believe which makes her a pawn in the capitals game.

She is going to die. That much is clear. I have to get back to Peeta. As if on cue a cannon sounds and I drop to my knees.

_Peeta. _

I know its not the girl because I can hear the cries escaping her lips and the tears running down her cheeks. I glance over at her and her eyes meet mine. The arrogant, sadistic, and sarcastic killer from the interviews is gone replaced by a terrified and weak young girl. And I realize I know that look on her.

_"Choose." _

_The girl from 2 has walked over to me at my camaflauge station. _

_"I'm sorry?" _

_She holds out two knives in front of me. _

_"Choose." _

_I turn back to the station hoping to be able to ignore her. _

_"I'm talking to you fire girl." she steps swiftly in front of me. _

_"What do you want?" I say sighing _

_"Don't you dare talk to me like that." she says harshly _

_I try to turn my back on her again but she places a hand on my shoulder and whips me around to face her. _

_"I'm going to be the one to kill you. I've being nice here. Choose." She shoves the knifes in my face. "What one do you want to die by? I'll tell you right now they both hurt about the same. Like hell fire girl." She laughs_

_I push past her but she grabs me again. _

_"You think you're such a fucking martyr don't you? Volunteering for your sister like that." she laughs but it sounds desperate and not humorous "That's why people love you so much. They pity you because you've been acting this whole time like you've got some sort of monopoly on pain. Well let me tell you something fire girl. You fucking don't." she pushes me back and as she does I see something in her eyes I don't recognize. She glares at me. "You have no idea what pain is." _

_And I see it. The look on her face and I can't tell what it is but it doesn't seem to fit her. Her words and her expression don't match up. She terrifies me I'll admit, but I'm also a little intrigued. And I can't help but feel that the look on her face is something she's not letting on. Something she knows but she's not giving into. _

Fear. That's what the look was as she pushed me and spoke those words to me. And I understand I suppose. Because no matter what district you come from everyone fears death. She groans and I am pulled out of my thoughts. I walk towards her. I don't want to, I really don't, but something is dragging me towards her. She sees me coming and whimpers. I bend down and she whispers something so softly that I can't make it out. So I don't respond but I bend closer towards her and she whispers it again.

"Please. Please make it quick." Her eyes are filled with so much pain and she can barely talk.

I get it now why she's whispering because even in death careers are supposed to be brave. A girl from 2 would never beg for death.

She stares at me expectantly her eyes almost blank. And I see the look again although this time heightened.

I don't exactly know what I'm doing but I lean over and strip away her knives and as I do it I hear her speak a little louder, and a little more desperately.

"No! No please."

And I know now she thinks I'm going to do what she wanted to do to me, torture.

And all I can think of is Rue and how helpless she looked dying and how this girl looks pretty much the same. And I see this girl so differently now.

I see her interview and how sarcastic and sadistic and arrogant she was through the whole thing. And then I look closer and I see truth.

_"Clove you're obviously very confident."_

_Clove smiles. _

_"But," Caesar begins, "Tell us what do you fear." _

_Clove stays smiling, perfectly poised. _

_"I fear that it will be too easy." _

_The audience laughs. _

_"Well, that seems like something you would want. No risk to your life." _

_Clove looks dead ahead. _

_"There's no glory in ease. I want to make my district proud as Cato said before. But I also want something else." _

_"And what is that?" Caesar presses_

_"To be the first winner who proves they're truly worthy of winning. To be fearless." _

_Its ironic because in her eyes you can see she's afraid. _

_She glances over at someone and I notice its her stylist and for a brief minute she looks like she could cry. But her stylist just nods and Clove resumes her poise. _

_When she walks off the stage her mentor places his hand on her and she visibly jumps back. She breezes past me and shoots me a glare. _

"I'm not going to hurt you." I hear myself say. I feel detached from what I'm actually doing right now.

Clove looks at me and she's having a hard time breathing and she whimpers again.

My hand seems to move of its own accord as it finds Cloves own. Her hand is burning hot and moist with blood. My fingers slip between hers and I can feel them mix with the red liquid, not sure if its hers, mine, or Threshes. The thought makes me sick.

"You'll..." she chokes out and I can see her fading.

I hold her hand tighter.

"You'll win" she gasps

I then make what has to be the worst decision of my life. I pull out the cream, meant for Peeta, and I rub it on her wound. She doesn't respond, she's passed out. I lift her up to my chest and I know she's alive as I can feel her breathe. I rub some more on and then I hear shouts in the distance.

_Cato. _

Lifting the girl up I begin to run.


End file.
